I am guessing I am not the only one a bit disquieted?

Am re-reading a few books. One is called “How to Stop the Pain” by Dr. James Richards. He speculates that the cause of much of our emotional pain is our inclination to judge others and ourselves. “Although judging has many facets… the essential aspect: Identifying what someone did is not judgment; that is merely observation. It is when we assume to know WHY a person did what he did that we have entered into judgment.”
“Giving up the right to judge would break the cycle of pain… while salvaging many valuable relationships.” He notes that scripturally, God alone has the right to judge.

In 1 John 2:2 we are told Jesus is the atoning sacrifice for our sins and not only ours but also for the sins of the whole world.
Titus 2:11 says the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men.
Paul says in Romans and Second Corinthians that as in Adam all die, so through Christ all will live. More precisely he says that through one transgression there resulted condemnation to all men and so through one act of righteousness there resulted justification of life to all men.

These verses really turned my mind in new directions the more I began to study the implications.

My daughter and I were talking the other day about slavery and she said ‘it’s in the bible right?’ I told her that while slavery is in the bible it is not an affirmation of it necessarily. I said for example, if I said that one of your friends is overweight (truly a curse in middle school) it is not because I caused her to be or want to see her stay that way forever, it is simply a statement of what is presently true. Now my daughter has a friend who has struggled with this since early elementary school. Her friend talks to her about it, how it makes her feel, etc… because she trusts her. They will talk about nutrition and getting out for walks. I am not sure if I think the point is whether or not her friend actually loses weight, I think the relationship and sense deepening trust is of the greatest value.

I think too, that is becoming my perspective on God. I don’t think He is as concerned with whether or not we ‘get it right’ morally or theologically. He knows how the story works out. He provided for our salvation completely. He wants us to learn to trust Him now. We were created to be in a relationship of great feedom with God. But like slaves still on the Underground Railroad, we don’t know what that kind of life is like.
Harriet Tubman said of her own journey: I was free, but there was no one to welcome me to freedom.

As I continue to contemplate and seek God’s call, I have come to a new point of understanding. Many fill the critic’s circle. I am not needed there. Many desire their ’slice of the pie’, a life of comfortable circumstances, comfort food, and a good coffin at the end. That makes me restless. I want to participate in real transformation. That begins with God’s work in my own heart, teaching me to trust Him, to trust in His goodness even when things are hard or confusing. It means expeiencing a new freedom with Him and letting part of that freedom being a part of a welcoming team. It includes hanging out with friends and and building partnerships with people likewise committed to the unknown but sacred journey.

The past year has been one of intense re-thinking some long held beliefs. The thoughts I am sharing are not offered lightly. They are the result of much wrangling internally and with friends whose opinions I highly value regardless of whether we agree about many particulars.
So this turned into a bit of a ramble, but I definitely do not want to be offensive in stating how fluid my own understanding of God is. My hope is anchored in Jesus because He said if we have seen Him we have seen the Father (for a bunch of other reasons, too. I really like HIm.) I also want to be free to share why I have growing convictions that, for example, when the word ‘all’ is used in some descriptive sections, it means ‘all’.

I appreciate you all. This place keeps me thinking carefully.